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Deep Questions for Soulmates

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Some questions are only possible with one person. Not because they’re hard, but because they require history. “What do you admire about me that you’ve never told me?” means nothing coming from a stranger and a great deal from someone who has been watching you for years.

That’s the whole design of this collection. Almost every question points back at the two of you rather than outward at the world. What was your first thought about me. Which difference between us do you love. What is one thing you’re afraid to ask me. What would you miss most if this ended.

They aren’t comfortable, and they aren’t meant to be. What they do well is surface things that have been true for a long time and never said — the compliment nobody voiced, the small resentment that never found its moment, the memory only one of you kept.

Save these for an evening with nothing scheduled after it. Ask fewer questions than you think you should and let the answers run long. If you don’t have that shared history yet, start with the collection for new relationships instead — these questions need something to point at.

This week’s picks

Three of the collection’s highest-rated questions, by votes and saves from people using the app. The three shown change every Monday.

  • 01

    What can I do to help or make you feel better?

  • 02

    What is the pain in me you wish you could heal?

  • 03

    What assumption did you make about me that turned out to be false?

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The full list

Ranked by how people using the app voted on them.

  1. What's a moment you wished we never had?

  2. What do you think is the hardest thing for me right now?

  3. What trauma would you need to tell me about so l can better understand you?

  4. Do you feel like our relationship is balanced in terms of give and take?

  5. How should we handle disagreements?

  6. What about you feels hardest to love?

  7. If you died, would it hurt to know they fell in love again?

  8. What is your favorite memory of someone who isn't in your life anymore?

  9. Can you be your authentic self around them?

  10. What's one small way I can be a better partner?

  11. What part of my heart do you wish you could heal?

  12. What is the most important quality to have in a relationship?

  13. What excites you about our future?

  14. If you could pick one memory that defined our relationship, what would it be?

  15. When do you think I have been the happiest in our relationship?

  16. When was the last time I hurt you unintentionally?

  17. Is there something you feel our relationship is lacking?

  18. Have you ever had a moment when you seriously reconsidered our relationship?

  19. Why do you think we work?

  20. In what ways am I good for your mental health?

  21. What should I do more of?

  22. What made you realise you wanted to commit to this relationship?

  23. What one thing in your life would you never change for me or anyone else?

  24. How has our relationship changed the way you look at love?

  25. How do you think we've both changed since we've been together?

  26. What fear do you think holds me back the most?

  27. What makes our relationship better than any other?

  28. If physical attraction was completely eliminated from our relationship, what would keep you connected and in love with me?

  29. How can I better support you in our relationship?

  30. What's something I'm too hard on myself about?

  31. How do you feel about a girl/boyfriend's best friends during a relationship?

  32. Have you ever had a dream about me that you didn't tell me about?

  33. Do you have a day dream that you often replay in your mind?

  34. What is there in our relationship that you never thought possible?

  35. If you could write me a love note right now, what would it say?

  36. Where is the place that has sentimental value to you in our relationship?

  37. Do you feel completely yourself around me?

  38. What is the kindest act of kindness I have ever done?

  39. When was the last time our relationship took you outside of your comfort zone? Describe the situation.

  40. What's one small thing your partner can do to support you when you're having a bad day?

  41. What can we laugh about now that once seemed so scary in our relationship?

  42. How much have I changed from when we first started dating?

  43. What do you think is one of the most important qualities in a relationship?

  44. What goal do you have for our relationship in the long run?

  45. What are some of my friendships that make you uncomfortable?

  46. What are your hopes and dreams for our relationship and what steps can we take to make them a reality?

  47. If we met again and started over, what would you do differently?

747 more questions in the app

This page shows the best of the collection. The rest — and every other collection — lives in DeepJoin.

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