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Questions for New Relationships

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The first months of a relationship are spent collecting information you’ll be acting on for years. Most of it arrives by accident — you find out how someone handles being late, or what they’re like around their mother, and it tells you more than any conversation would have.

This collection is for the part you can ask about directly. What a perfect evening looks like. Whether big parties or four people at a kitchen table. Which qualities they actually value in other people, as opposed to which ones they claim. Adventure or stability, when it comes down to it. What they hope a relationship will be.

Nothing here assumes shared history, because at this stage there isn’t any. There’s no “remember when” and no “what do you regret about us” — those questions need years behind them, and DeepJoin keeps them in a different collection.

Ask them the way they’re written: casually, spread out over weeks, one at a time. A new relationship interrogated all at once stops feeling like a relationship. And answer everything you ask — this is a trade, not a screening.

This week’s picks

Three of the collection’s highest-rated questions, by votes and saves from people using the app. The three shown change every Monday.

  • 01

    Is codependency in a relationship good or bad?

  • 02

    What is your very first memory?

  • 03

    What matters more to you in expressing love – words or actions?

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The full list

Ranked by how people using the app voted on them.

  1. What does "trust" in a relationship mean to you?

  2. Is it important to you that your friends and family like your partner?

  3. How do you react to criticism from your partner?

  4. What is your main rule in a relationship that you never break?

  5. What is your attitude toward finances in a relationship?

  6. How do you feel about compromises in a relationship?

  7. What is your definition of an ‘ideal relationship’?

  8. Did you have a fantasy about your ideal husband/wife as a child? What was it like?

  9. How do you feel about open relationships or free love?

  10. What's a BIG no-no when it comes to a first date?

  11. Are you ready to accept your partner’s past without judgment?

  12. What meal reminds you of your mom's home cooking?

  13. What are you most excited for in life right now?

  14. What moment in life would you like to relive?

  15. What does being a "strong" person mean to you?

  16. What is your attitude toward changing your appearance for social approval?

  17. Has your attitude toward friendship and relationships changed over time? How?

  18. How do you feel about showcasing your relationship/family/children on social media?

  19. What personal qualities do you value the most in others?

  20. Your ideal evening together is…

  21. What do you consider your main motivation in life?

  22. If someone gave you a box containing everything you've ever lost, what would be the first thing you'd look for?

  23. Are romantic gestures important to you? If so, which ones mean the most?

  24. What is the hardest thing for you to spend money on, and what is the easiest?

  25. Is Friday evening for friends or your partner?

  26. How do you feel about cheating? Is it possible to forgive it?

  27. If a woman earns more than a man, is that okay or not okay?

  28. Are you ready to forgive cheating?

  29. Can people remain friends after a breakup?

  30. What's your top priority in life right now?

  31. Is marriage important to you?

  32. Have you ever saved anyone's life, or, did anyone ever save your life?

  33. What's a small thing you take a stupid amount of pleasure in?

  34. If you could live anywhere, where would you choose to be?

  35. What's the best gift you have ever received?

  36. What is your favorite sport or physical activity?

  37. What is your favorite type of music?

  38. What is your favorite hobby?

  39. What life experience made you go: 'I can't believe this is happening right now!'?

  40. Describe your dream wedding if money were no object.

  41. How do you usually celebrate holidays?

  42. What is your favorite way to relax?

  43. What are your favorite sports or activities?

  44. How do you imagine your ideal vacation?

  45. What does an ideal evening together look like for you?

  46. How do you imagine our first holiday together?

  47. What is your favorite way to show gratitude?

206 more questions in the app

This page shows the best of the collection. The rest — and every other collection — lives in DeepJoin.

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