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Trust Questions for Couples

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Most couples only discuss trust once it’s broken, which is the worst possible time — by then the conversation is about one incident and everyone is defending something. These questions are for the other moment: while trust is intact and boring and nobody has anything to prove.

They ask whether you consider each other reliable, and whether that’s changed over the years and what changed it. What each of you thinks actually builds trust, as a piece of advice you’d give someone else. Whether there was ever a time you felt your partner didn’t trust you, and what that did. What you still haven’t said. Where the line is on honesty, and whether you both draw it in the same place. How you’d want disagreements handled, versus how they currently go.

Openness is the other half of the collection, so some questions ask directly what you’ve been holding back — including things you’ve never brought up because there was no obvious moment.

Answer these when you’re calm and not mid-argument. Trust questions asked during a fight stop being questions and become accusations with a question mark on the end.

This week’s picks

Three of the collection’s highest-rated questions, by votes and saves from people using the app. The three shown change every Monday.

  • 01

    What would you like to try in our relationship but have considered too bold?

  • 02

    How can we improve our emotional intimacy?

  • 03

    Are there decisions or actions in your life that you feel uncomfortable talking about? Why?

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The full list

Ranked by how people using the app voted on them.

  1. Is it important to you that your partner praises you?

  2. Do you have secrets you would never share with your partner?

  3. How can I make you feel good?

  4. Imagine your perfect day with me—what would we do, and where would we be?

  5. Can I rely on you?

  6. If you could give me one ability or talent, what would it be?

  7. Do you have an example of ideal relationships that you strive to follow?

  8. Are there topics in our relationship that you consider “off-limits”?

  9. What kind of gifts do you like the most?

  10. Have there been times when you felt the need to hide your true feelings from me? Why?

  11. Are you a jealous person? Do you think jealousy is a sign of mistrust?

  12. Would you like more care and attention from me?

  13. Are rituals in a relationship, like evening café visits or morning coffee, important to you?

  14. What part of your love story makes you feel sad?

  15. Is the approval of your relationship from family and friends important to you?

  16. Name 3 things you’d like to change about your partner’s character.

  17. What is your main rule in a relationship that you never break?

  18. What do you want me to wear more often?

  19. Have you ever felt jealous? How do you deal with it?

  20. Is there something you’d like to change in the way we resolve conflicts?

  21. Are there topics in our relationship that you want to discuss but don’t know how to bring up? How can I help?

  22. What destroys love in most cases? Name the top 3 reasons relationships end, in your opinion.

  23. Is it important to you that your friends and family like your partner?

  24. What leverage do you think you have over me?

  25. What is your definition of an ‘ideal relationship’?

  26. Has your view on honesty and openness in relationships changed over time? What events influenced your views?

  27. What sexual fantasy of yours have you never shared with me?

  28. What is the boldest thing you’re ready to do for our relationship?

  29. What compliment do you think I should hear more often?

  30. How do you react to criticism from your partner?

  31. Can someone be in a relationship and still feel lonely?

  32. How do you feel about compromises in a relationship?

  33. Are you ready to change for the sake of a relationship?

  34. How do you feel when sharing your deepest feelings or secrets?

  35. Were there moments when you felt I didn’t trust you? How did that affect you?

  36. Are romantic gestures important to you? If so, which ones mean the most?

  37. How can we strengthen the trust between us?

160 more questions in the app

This page shows the best of the collection. The rest — and every other collection — lives in DeepJoin.

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