Couples Therapy Questions
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These are conversation questions borrowed from the shape of couples therapy, not a substitute for it. Nothing here diagnoses anything. What they borrow is the structure a session gives you: one topic at a time, both people answering, nobody allowed to drift into a general complaint.
The subject is how the two of you actually function. Whether needs get said out loud or only hinted at. What each of you does when a conversation starts going badly. Which topics you’ve both been circling for months without naming. Whether support, when it’s offered, arrives in a form the other person can use. Whether there’s a part of your partner you haven’t fully accepted, and whether they can feel it.
One rule makes them work: both partners answer every question, and whoever isn’t answering doesn’t interrupt. Take three or four in a sitting rather than working down the list — these are heavier per question than the rest of DeepJoin, and four honest answers take longer than you’d expect.
If a question opens something you can’t close, that’s useful information and a reasonable moment to book a real therapist. These questions are good at finding the subject. A professional is better at what comes next.
This week’s picks
Three of the collection’s highest-rated questions, by votes and saves from people using the app. The three shown change every Monday.
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01
What compliment do you think I should hear more often?
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02
Are there topics in our relationship that you want to discuss but don’t know how to bring up? How can I help?
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03
Are you ready to change for the sake of a relationship?
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The full list
Ranked by how people using the app voted on them.
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What is your main rule in a relationship that you never break?
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Has your view on honesty and openness in relationships changed over time? What events influenced your views?
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Name 3 things you’d like to change about your partner’s character.
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Is it important to you that your partner praises you?
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Do you have an example of ideal relationships that you strive to follow?
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How can we strengthen our problem-solving skills together, considering our individual stress responses?
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Are you a jealous person? Do you think jealousy is a sign of mistrust?
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How do you feel about compromises in a relationship?
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Are there topics in our relationship that you consider “off-limits”?
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Can I rely on you?
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How do you react to criticism from your partner?
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If you could give me one ability or talent, what would it be?
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What is your attitude toward finances in a relationship?
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Have there been times when you felt the need to hide your true feelings from me? Why?
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Are romantic gestures important to you? If so, which ones mean the most?
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Are there decisions or actions in your life that you feel uncomfortable talking about? Why?
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What is your definition of an ‘ideal relationship’?
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What is your biggest fear in a relationship?
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Have you ever felt jealous? How do you deal with it?
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Is it important to you that your friends and family like your partner?
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How can we improve our emotional intimacy?
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Would you like more care and attention from me?
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What do you want me to wear more often?
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What kind of gifts do you like the most?
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Is the approval of your relationship from family and friends important to you?
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How can we strengthen the trust between us?
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Are rituals in a relationship, like evening café visits or morning coffee, important to you?
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Imagine your perfect day with me—what would we do, and where would we be?
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When we argue, do you feel like you still matter to me?
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What would you like to try in our relationship but have considered too bold?
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Can you name a situation when you felt maximum support from me? What exactly did I do?
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What destroys love in most cases? Name the top 3 reasons relationships end, in your opinion.
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How can I make you feel good?
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What leverage do you think you have over me?
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Can someone be in a relationship and still feel lonely?
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What does "trust" in a relationship mean to you?
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What sexual fantasy of yours have you never shared with me?
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Do you have secrets you would never share with your partner?
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Are there aspects of your life where you feel a greater need for support that I may not be aware of?
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Do you think we trust each other enough when it comes to making decisions?
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Was there ever a moment when you wanted to kiss me but didn’t dare to?
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Do you feel you have enough freedom in our relationship?
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Is there something you’ve always wanted to change in our relationship but were afraid to say?
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Is there something you’d like to change in the way we resolve conflicts?
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If your partner watched the next episode of your favorite series without you, is that considered betrayal?
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How do you determine the level of trust in a relationship?
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What does my love feel like to you?
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